September 24, 2002. It’s 3:35PM, and I just got a call from my dad. My mom had a lump growing in her chest that doubled in size in the last month, so the doctor was going to skip biopsy and just remove it anyways, and then test it. Today they removed it, and the test confirmed that it was cancer. Now they’re doing further tests and CAT scans to see if it spread. I’m hoping it didn’t. FUUUUUCK I dunno what to do… Worst part is that I can’t even go check up on her becuause I have a court date in upstate NY for that case where somone stole my old plates from my old car and racked up some heavy parking fines. Fuuuuuck - this ain’t a good week. I’m really close to my mom, so this shit is driving me nuts… Arrrgh… (#@%*$&%)!*)*(@!!! I don’t want to lose my mom. She means so much to me.

UPDATE: Talked with my mom today. The cancer has definitely spread, and they scheduled an emergency surgery to remove the breasts completely on Tuesday. The cancer was indeed malignant, but they don’t know to what extent, how far, or how quick it spread. They did full CAT scans today and tested they lymph gland to check (usual procedure). We’re still awaiting tests.

Strangly, my mom is taking it quite well. My Dad took it the hardest, and he’s having a hard time dealing with his emotions… I’m taking it pretty badly too, but am still somewhat in denial/pure shock and confusion stage. Fortunately, Caroline went through the same thing with her mom a year back, and came over to calm me down a bit, reassured me, and basically prevented me from freaking out. Strange how life and God always seem to bring me help at the right times when I need it most.

Anyhow, the doctor said that if the test show that the cancer has spread, that he won’t do any more surgery to remove it. Meaning that the only option left is kemotherapy, which I’m not sure if she’ll do or not.

If my mom is gonna get any help, it’s gonna be the best damn help out there, and not some dinky local hospital. My friend Jill from back in High School now works at Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in NYC, and she said that she had a few contacts since she works in radiology and oncology. I’m sorta confused on what to do, but if she’s gonna get help, I want it to be the best. I’m not about to lose my mom without a fight!!