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    Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity.
    Louis Pasteur (1822 - 1895)

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Violence and Peace

December 23rd, 2002

I’m sure that everyone has seen the bad press on the game, Grand Theft Auto - Vice City. Basically, people are against the violence it has as well the the option to commit violence against women. Mainly, in the game, you can have sex with a h00ker to gain more health, then when you pay her, you can run her over and get your money back. This link from an article on CNN will give you clueless ones an idea of whats going on. Strangely, it’s fairly retarded arguement that these people are making. A commentary from HardOCP.com points out that what they’re saying is that essentially its ok to kill bajillions of men (since the history of video games has always done so) but as soon as you kill one woman, that’s a big no-no. They also point out that in Japan, it is a known statistic that they play video games 5 times longer than Americans do, and with a population that’s 1/2 of the United States, there were only 75 homicides in 2001. The United States had over 16,000 homicides in 2001.

It’s quite interesting how lately the general consensus of the average American is to blame something else. No one seems to step back and say, “Hey, maybe I’m doing something wrong here?” Maybe it’s just me, but when something hits the fan, I step back and try to see every angle to see if possibly if the problem was caused my me (either directly or indirectly) before investigating other outside possibilities. Just look at kids today, young little 8 year olds who are one ritilan and other drugs to “calm them down.” Parents these days just want a kid that sits there and shuts the hell up (and they wonder why kids are getting fatter?). Point being that an 8 year old kid is supposed to be hyper, and will be if you give them soda and candy! Don’t blame it on ADD and shit like that. Comeon people, stop being idiots and step up to the plate!

Caroline left yesterday for Seattle to see her parents. I miss her already… *sniff* For Christmas I got her a Tiffany pendant that’s part of the Elsa Peretti line. At first, I got her the figure 8 one (second to last page on the last Tiffany catalog) that looks like an inifinity symbol. Figure it would be nice since she’s a math major and it could be symbolic for my love for her. I caught her checking it out in the catalog and took note. However, I found out she liked the starfish one better, so I went back and swapped it for that one. She’s happy with it too!

I’ll be going over to Seattle in January to meet her parents. Still need to decide what to get them. Usually that’s easy but since they don’t drink, the bottle of bubbly or nice wine is a no go. What to do?!!

This weekend, I spent it with Caroline, and we took some really great pictures at Rockafeller Center with the Tree. I usually don’t like going to those touristy areas, but she convinced me to go. I’m glad I did. The pics are good. Will upload them after xmas.

Merry Christmas to everyone!

First update in 2 months!

December 18th, 2002

Yeah I know this is the first update in over 2 months. So sue me. Things have been quite rough for me in the last 2 months. Basically lets break them down into categories: Job, Mom’s Cancer, MBA Applications, GMAT study, Clean My Apt, spending time with Caroline. Well as some of you may know, I ended my 2nd rotation at Johnson & Johnson and started my 3rd one, at J&J’s elite techie group, the Advanced Technologies Research department. Essentially, this is where J&J does extensive research on the latest bleeding edge of cutting edge of technology to see if we can take advantage of early technologies for the company. Stuff that we test out hasn’t even hit the market, and most of the stuff I do I’m not even allowed to discuss. Alot of the work is quite stressful since I’m one of the few people in the world to attempt it, and thus if shit happens, there’s obviously no documentation nor support. It’s a very high publicity group to be in and thus deadlines are critical for us to deliver. Long hours, lots of pressure, and much frustration have added to the pile of my worries…

As for mom’s cancer, turns out her doctor was an idiot. Her tumor was 1.2 cm big, and a whole mastectomy was completely unwarranted, since a lumpectomy would’ve been just as effective. Also the American Cancer Institute says that anything over 1 cm should go through chemotherapy as a precautionary measure. He didn’t suggest it because he had bad politics with the hospital’s oncology dept. So we pulled her out and took her to someplace better: Robert Wood Johnson (yes and that’s JNJ affiliated). Granted it’s not Sloan Kettering, but its still one of the top in the east coast. The doctor told us the truth as I stated above, and my mom began chemo. She already lost her hair and is weak and was hospitalized for severe anemia where her white blood cell count dropped to 80, and her blood pressure wouldn’t register correctly because it was so low. She’s back at home now, but is still weak. Worse of all, Aetna HMO calls us saying that they refuse to pay for chemo since its an unnecessary cost. Damn fuckers. HMO’s are dirty businesses. Aetna you suck. You sux so bad that I’m switching HMO’s when J&J will allow me to, and I’ll encourage others to do so after what you dickheads did. After lobbying and bringing in doctors and such to argue with the HMO, they compromised and said that they’ll pay for the chemo Rx, but that’s it. My mom would have to administer the shots herself. Yeah ***** right! She hardly has enough energy to get out of bed you dirty HMO bitches!! All this plus chemo has made my mom totally emotional and very uneasy.

Applications for MBA schools are due mid January. Which means I gotta take the GMAT asap and do the apps. Ugh, high school all over again…

My apt. is dirty and cluttered. I cleaned 1/2 so far, but still the other 1/2 to go. Where’s the time for this?

Plus I feel bad, becuase I feel like I’m neglecting Caroline in a sense, since I’m always exhausted at the end of the day, or too tired on the weekend. My conversation ability has dropped to almost nothing since my brain tends to just shut down. I’m just glad I didn’t get cranky on her. That’s one side of me I hope she’ll never see.

Well that’s what’s going on in a nutshell. Things are busy, and I still have to do shopping… But WHEN?!!